Who Even Am I?

The summer after I graduated high school, I became part of my church’s drama/theater ministry. It all started at Youth Camp when my friends and I made this goofy video about the Pastor that was played in front of the entire church the following Sunday night. What started out as just a funny joke turned into an invite to join this group that I would never have sought out on my own. My insecure self, that had a lifetime history of stage-fright, was both thrilled and terrified. Thrilled because I longed for acceptance and friendship; terrified because it felt grossly out of my comfort zone. But I joined anyway because others were telling me that I had what it took to be there, even if I didn’t fully believe that. The re-assurance from those around me enabled me to feel like I belonged there despite my insecurity.

Creating this blog feels a little like that. Except this time, I don’t have other people inviting me to be here. I’ve just come on my own, with a subtle nudge to my soul that tells me to jump in despite the fear.

I don’t really know what I’m doing. The internet is such a beautiful yet complicated place. It allots us the freedom to share our ideas with the world, but that freedom is accompanied by the knowledge that there are so many other people out there who don’t think like you and are not afraid to tell you exactly what’s on their minds.

But here’s my idea…

I recently started working as a full-time occupational therapist. And by recently, I mean just a few months ago. I’m wet behind the ears and full of memorized book-knowledge that I’m trying to sort through so I can actually apply it. Another great thing about the internet is I can find an answer to almost any question I have. If I’m feeling stuck at work, I can just hop online and read about or watch techniques that others have found effective. Which is great (and of course super helpful), but there are so many aspects of this job that go beyond simply “What am I going to do today?”

As a Christian and a healthcare provider, I experience grey areas. My job requires me to be an unbiased third-party when the concept of faith or spirituality comes up during patient care. But how am I supposed to fully embrace the Christian lifestyle of sharing what I believe when I’m unable to really say much of anything? That’s what I want to explore through this blog. The idea that ministry isn’t just what we’re involved in at church, but what we’re actually doing with our whole life. While the grey areas exist, they don’t have to be unnavigable. We can still make our ways through them with the Love of Christ that permeates the deepest darkness.

I would love if you’d come along for the journey. I truly believe that we were designed for community; just another ‘perk’ to this crazy thing we call social media. While you may not be a healthcare provider like I am, I pray that you find encouragement during whatever time you spend here on this blog.

2 thoughts on “Who Even Am I?

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  1. Very well written! This blog grabbed my attention since your preview mentioned drama. I use to be involved with church drama teams as well. I’m not sure what others may think, but know that this blog encouraged me. I liked your honesty in your expression and willingness to be vulnerable. I can relate to a lot of what was said in here. Looking forward to your next one!


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